Poppa -

I just don't even know where to start. I received a call last night that my Poppa had a stroke on Monday and has been in a coma for the fast few days. My mind is in a haze really. Poppa is my grandfather through my bio dad's side. To make it clear I have nothing to do with my bio dad. Still, I loved my grandparents. That is a bond that all the drama in the world could break. There are so many things running through my head. Why weren't we told on like Monday? I live in Colorado. He lives in Texas. How else were we going to find out? To be nice I guess, I told my Aunt that I would track my bio dad down. I can't/won't have any contact with him, but I would do my research. So I guess that this is where I tell you that I had to call to find out what prison he was in this time. My heart is in shambles right now. I'm pissed off because it was just last night that was told. I'm ashamed that I had to call and request inmate information. The worst part is that I'm so sad that I cannot manage to make it an hour without a breakdown. I worry that I might not have been a good enough grand-daughter. Did I write enough? Did I show my love enough? Did I try to visit enough? I really don't think so.