Bad Day..

My heart is a little broken today. This wait hurts so bad. I feel like I'm suffocating in it. I just want to breath. At the same time that I'm hurting I'm still have to fight for my decisions. There are still those people out there that believe that we should have pursued another adoption path. I get so sick of hearing it. Why is it that the people uneducated about any type of adoption are the ones with the most opinions? It's already too hard, why do people that say that love you want to make it any more difficult? I'm not going to suddenly change my mind and do what YOU think that I should so please stop. We are just over 7 months LID. Back when we first started the process I thought that was so much, now it's really not. I often try to think back on every bad thing that I have ever done. I guess the pain is easier to understand if there is a reason for it. Like all the bad things that I have ever done are forming this punishment. I can't just think that it was totally random that both Frenchie AND I ended up being infertile. Yes, I know that I'm up to my eyeballs in self-pitty today.