My tough lesson....

It was our annual company Christmas party this weekend. There are hundreds of people that show up. It's really a big deal in our company. For the most part I had a good time. There were portions that I wish that I could block from my mind forever. The hardest was one was where I felt attacked buy a guy that I used to consider my friend. He want on a rant when he found out that we were adopting. He raged about importing the Chinese. He was even dear enough to mention the girls that are drowned. He thought he was so cool with that one. I told him that he was going to hell, but that's all I did. I'm so ashamed that I didn't do anything or say more. I stood there shocked and hurt. I thought about it all day yesterday. I've cried about it all day today. I'm not going to change his mind. To be honest I'm not sure that I even would want to. He must have had a lot of hate for me to even say what he did. I'm just so damn mad at myself. I just stood there like the drunken idiot that I was. It's too late for me to do anything now. I have to prepare myself for this in the future. People are going to say what ever they like. I need remember that I can do the same thing. I have a sharp tongue and need to use it on miserable SOB's like Bill. I'm an evil bitch and will totally use that to verbally kill someone. I can never let myself just stand there ever again. My goal is if this ever happens again that I'm not the person that crying about it later. It better be the stupid bastard that made the mistake of saying something to me. In time I'm sure that I'll forgive that unbelievable SOB Bill, I'm just not sure that I'll forgive myself for not kicking his ass. I'm okay with people not liking my decisions. I'm just not okay with people feeling that they can spew their hate on me.