The song remembers when....

Isn't it crazy that a song can take you back to a different time and place? The radio is killing me today with a rush of memories. It may not bother me so much, but they are memories of friendships that I miss so much. The first song that hit me in the gut was Building A Mystery by Sarah McLachlan. Every single time I think of this song I'm back in the fall of 1997. Jose and I had been in our longest fight ever. He shows up at my house one night with bag in hand and tells me that he still does not want to be my friend, but wants to install new car speakers for me. It was funny, but you couldn't laugh at him. If you did he'd say screw it and no long attempt to make peace. We went out to the parking lot of my apartment in the chilly evening. We didn't talk at all. He installed the speakers and I just sat there. Once he was done he turned on the radio and that song was playing. I don't know why but it always sticks out in my mind. There was nothing romantic or anything like that, just really good friends that fought too much. Still to this day it was one of the sweetest things that anyone has ever done for me. Once that memory hits I think of the last time that we spent any time together at all and how extremely rude I was to him. We had been friends for so many years, but I was so damn bitter that he wasn't in my life any more. I know that it's stupid, but that's me. I strike out to those that I care about the most. Anyway, the next song that played was I Want It That Way by the Back Street Boys. Before you start laughing, I know. Buff and I had gone through this total secretive love of pop music for a while. It was silly and stupid, but so much fun all at the same time. It was a guilty pleasure. The best part was that we had choreographed car dance moves to these songs. I Want It That Way was our favorite. Still, I can't not smile thinking about the asses we made of ourselves in her little Ford Escort. I guess the same thing happens when I think of all the drama and hell we put each other through towards the end. The both of us became almost cruel to the other. Our relationship has been strained since. No matter what happens I'll always think of the stupid ass shit we did from Village Inn at 2:00 AM to meet boys to "sexy" farting and belching. What can I say, we were total ladies. That time of my life will always be remembered as great. I will always cherish that friendship and that chapter of my life.

I'm not trying to play it off like I am the worst friend in the world, but like everyone I have made my mistakes. The friends that I play with these days are secretly worshipped by me. I would totally never let them know that. I also think that "shape" of my friends have changed. I'm all over the board including Frenchie (my best friend)and my sister A that has become one of my best friends that I have ever had. I have kept older friends and gained interesting new ones. No matter what happens I'll always love all my friends both past and present. Yes, even that friend back in the day that was, shall we say, bi-polar. I'd love to rebuild or make stronger friendships with both Jose and Buff. Time will tell if that has worked out the way that I would like.

I checked the CCAI web site today and there are no changes. I'll let you know just as soon as I hear something.