My weekend-

N gave birth to a healthy baby girl on Friday......at home! Thank gawd the paramedics showed just as her head was coming out. Now, I'm only hearing the story and it freaks the bajeezous out of me. I could not imagine being there just the two of them. Yikes! Really I'm not sure what to say. The birth of my niece is a huge event, but I'm so freaked out by everything I'm not really sure what else to say. My shock over the situations has really suspended any emotions. Really I just can't get passed it yet.

Ang and I worked on baby shower invitations for Little Miss Russia. They are so damn cute. I'll try to get pics up later. If you asked me today I'd totally be able to go to the shower. I feel strong today. I really need this strength to hold me over for a while. I haven't figured out how I could possibly make it another two years. Truth be told I know that I can't. Frenchie has said that we can sit down and discuss other options while still pursuing China. At least I know that he is willing to talk about it. I've been honest about who I am and what I can and can't deal with. I can't deal with years before I am a mom.