Oh Brother Where Art Thou?

Do you ever get those nagging feelings out of nowhere? Perhaps think of something or someone that you never do in a normal day? Since writing earlier about only having sisters I can't stop thinking that is a lie (kinda). The truth of the matter is that I have a half brother (birth father side) out there somewhere. I believe that he is about A's age maybe a year younger. All I really know is that his name is Jeremy and his mom's name is Lucy. I know, so much to go on. I have never met him. I do have a picture of him. That's kinda of an odd story too. Before my dad met my mom he was dating (living with) a woman named Lucy. This Lucy chick was not a stranger to my mom. In fact my mom knew that my birth father had cheated on her with this woman and they had a baby. In the end my mom and dad ended up getting married. Or as we say "We got married" since A and I left like it was a family thing. Many years later my dad was going through some old items not looked at in years. In the items was a family picture of sorts. It was my dad, Lucy, and her kids. The baby in the picture was my little brother. So I do have something. Not much, but I still hold on to that picture. It's not very often that this even crosses my mind, but when it happens I can't shake it loose. What is he like? Where does he live? Is he married? Does he have kids? Is he happy? Has he done well for himself? Does he know his birth father's side of the family? Is there a relationship with them? Does he know that he has two sisters in A and I? Does he wonder about me too? What would happen if I tried to find him? Would he even want that? Truth be told I don't know that if I found him that I would ever have the courage/nerve to contact him. Still I want to see him. I want to know that he's okay. I want to know that he is loved and that he loves others.

This is nothing compared to what my daughter will go through. I do understand that. My heart already breaks for her. I'm just not sure what I'll say for sure when she comes to me with questions about her birth mother. Do I tell her that it's too bad because she'll most likely never have answers? Do I give her the standard story of the one child policy in China?